Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Walking A Tightrope Of A Life

Yesterday, I was watching WHEEL OF FORTUNE and this week is for couples because it's Sweethearts Week.  At the very end, the winning couple was attempting to solve the puzzle but despite my fervent encouragement from home (screaming out the answer) the buzzer went.
My husband asked me, as he does frequently, 'Why don't you go on there?'  Usually, I quip back quickly that I'd probably get a brain freeze or get tongue tied.  This time I said, 'I'm too ugly.'

Why do I still say that about myself?  I'm closer to 70 than 60.  You'd think I would have learned by now that I don't look like anyone else.  I am unique and I am a natural beauty.  I don't do well with cosmetics other than lipstick. I've seen pictures of me as a toddler and child and I was cute!  However, I am not smiling in most of them.  I think I know why.  I was not a physically abused child but I was not nurtured or praised at all.  Hugs and kisses were rare in our household.  Every day was a tightrope walk (even though I wasn't then aware of it) through rules and mores.  Scots ones, American ones, and Mexican ones.  Local ones, school rules, growing up ones.  Which ones were the right ones?  They were ALL right depending on the day or the hour.


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